Reasons Why Fucking Horses is Better than Fucking Humans

Horses don’t give you AIDS.

They don’t make you pregnant either.

You can ride them as long as you want.

They are BIG.

They have lots of stamina(unlike some men I know….).

They are really BIG.

You can suck and bang them at the same time.

They are really, REALLY, BIG.

They don’t gossip and brag about they’re sex life with other to get soothe their egos.

They are REALLY FUCKING BIG.

Hot teen banging with her pet.
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Tiger Love

It was one boring day. My parents were out on some dumb doctor’s convention, so her I was alone in the house. I stayed in my room, sitting on my bed as I watched TV. Fuck. There was nothing to watch, I thought as I started flipping through the channels with my remote. Giving up, I turned the TV off and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. It was a hot day. So I was only wearing a small almost see through sleeveless white top and a pair of cotton shorts.

Suddenly I heard a meow; I turned and saw Tiger my pet cat, entering my room. Like me, he must be very pissed off, I thought. He has not been able to get out of the house for the past few nights, ever since the neighbor’s Doberman broke its leash.

I was surprised when he jumped in the bed and started licking the exposed part of my stomach. It was ticklish feeling his sandpaper tongue rubbing my skin but I let him do it. Soon, he was reaching down below my navel so I unbuttoned my shorts and took down my panties. All of a sudden, he stopped and started sniffing my pussy, and would not stop. I got surprised that what he was doing was making me all wet, and lay back there watching what he will do next. Suddenly, Tiger let out a soft growl and I felt his tongue licking my pussy like crazy.

Tiger ignored this and went deeper and deeper into me. I wanted more as he continued licking inside me. I was mindless. I could think of nothing else but what my cat was doing to me and silently prayed that he won’t stop. I felt this incredibly amazing sense of pleasure and ecstasy washing all over me until bit by bit my enormous feeling of arousal became a heightened sense of enjoyment, arching my pelvis higher and higher until it became a massive and explosive orgasm!

I did not know how long I lay there on my bed, feeling exhausted after what I have gotten through, until I felt fur being rubbed on my neck and the sensation of cat tongue against my cheek. Opening my eyes, I saw Tiger lying on my chest and staring at me with those feline eyes. I smiled and began to stroke his fur gently.

“You and me, Tiger.” I whispered. “You and me forever.”

The End?

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An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper. Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Benny didn’t move. Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.” Still, Benny didn’t move. Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.” Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Okay, Benny, pull.” Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.”

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Bastard Serpent: An Ode to Snake Fuckers

Just one more night
Wrapped in bastard serpents.
Another night
Where the darkness never falls.
There was a time
She can barely remember
With no bastard serpent
Hissing in the halls.
There were emerald greens,
And there were midnight blues,
A hundred richer shades
A thousand darker hues
And she could recognize herself
And she could put things right …
And sleep without a bastard serpent…